It's been awhile

since i posted anything here or felt like it or had sufficient time. now is a good day since it's raining blocks of ice outside and i have the day off to do as i please which is turning out to be housecleaning and cooking and staring out the window.
"new york is cold but i like where i'm living," no music on clinton street all through the evening because it's just too cold.

i have a few days off in which to slowly lose my mind. i've been combatting this by baking things, and taking them to the few people i can take them to here in brooklyn. not the same, though, as baking moravian cookies this time of year at my grandmothers house in georgia, recipe straight from the little old ladies in winstonsalem, or that first christmas baking with jan (sailboats and umbrellas instead of trees or santaclaus) singing along to the oldies station and making a mess. not like putting up the christmas tree with my mom, pulling out all the old homemade ornaments and the one ornament signed by keith when there's no one in my family named keith, laughing about its possible origin...

so now i'm looking up recipes and baking by myself which is relaxing in a way but definitely a departure from my preferred mode of being in the kitchen. which is, in any case, not "alone."

yesterday we went through differences training for the new aircraft which is affectionately named N756MX. i think. 7 or 9. either way, it's coming to us in a high density configuration and will be that way until june.
here's what this means...
a. i've finally made it to a point in my life where using terms like "high density configuration" and "crosscheck" is normal communication.
b. i've finally made it to a first class airline only to be scheduled to fly charter on one of these planes with 178 seats, economy class, peanuts, styrofoam cups, and trash bags to carry up and down the aisles.
I don't mind this. I need the flight hours this month. i will have the opportunity to briefly touch down in cancun and montego bay (not get off the plane) but will still be there physically for a moment. i will come away from this with an awakened appreciation for what everyone else has to do when they become a flight attendant.
but i'm going to have to brace myself to spend christmas hopping up and down on this plane from a hub of DETROIT (anyone have ANYTHING good to say about detroit?!?) to various cool cities that i won't be able to experience.
i know i'm complaining. i'm just kinda homesick, friendsick, cabinfeverish, bored, etc.
now the ice rain has turned into full blown snowfall. i can't even see any of manhattan through it. it's beautiful but i'm staying in.... when it stops we'll see if there's enough on the ground for a snowman.